U, Me Aur Hum - A birdbrain's delight

I always make an effort to watch the right movies when I do watch movies. And here’s one more case where I made a mistake I whole-heartedly regret. I saw U, Me Aur Hum with a group of friends. And I have to say – it was an exhilarating experience.

Ajay Devgan is actually a very talented actor who has produced spell-binding performances in the past, in all kinds of movies. But he definitely lost track of this one as his directorial debut featured everything that you don’t want to see from an actor of his excellence – despicable SMS jokes included in the movie out of clear-cut lack of creativity in the script, unwarranted one-liners aimed at motivating us into sexual overdrive, unfitting romantic sequences and an Alzheimer’s with bonus days.

Some of the scenes in this movie are so hopelessly envisaged and executed that you wonder what kind of lost logic Devgan was operating on while drawing up the framework. The movie is basically about Devgan and Kajol’s on-cruise love story followed up with how he handles her Alzheimer’s illness. Sorry for such a short synopsis. Because this is all there is worth understanding or even contemplating understanding.

The applause for this movie goes out to three principal characters – a lizard, a moth and a long-haired lamebrain who tries to name Ajay and Kajol’s new-born child with a certain F word but should inherently be called by that word himself. The lizard and the moth left Kajol dumbstruck in her apartment which consequently led to the drowning of her child who was then miraculously saved by Ajay, with some help from their pet Labrador.

In short, when romance, idiocy and Alzheimer’s (with the bonus day) combine, then this is the end product. Apunkachoice.com sums it all up with these gems from their review.

I have not yet seen Ajay Devgan act better in any other film.

I guess this was Devgan’s debut movie then. As an actor even.

Above all, it is a touching, moving tale that will change something inside you and make you a better companion

Undoubtedly, I made the mistake of “touching” it and now I’m “moving” away from any kind of positive appraisal that I can offer. And what it has changed inside me is that I pity the kind of exploitation that we undergo every Friday (with a few exceptions once in a while).

May God bless our brains.

Of free colour TVs, a Supreme Court verdict and item numbers

With the Congress hell bent on capturing Karnataka and the BJP equally pumped up in forming the new government, the upcoming state polls could be a prelude to the Assembly elections next year. Offering free colour televisions to families below the poverty line and ever-increasing-in-price rice at Rs. 2 per kg can be seen as moves to draw votes from the poor.

“We are running out of time, we needed to come out with something that will help us win back our traditional votes.”

Words of a Congress worker. Enough said.

Meanwhile, Arjun Singh emerges as the winner in the general Indian youth vs. OBC Quotas saga. The HRD minister said he felt vindicated at the Supreme Court’s decision to retain 27% reservations in educational institutions. The only reprieve for the much-mobilized youth is that the creamy layer in the OBCs becomes a part of the General quota. Now that you really can’t do anything about it let’s hope that the ones who do take advantage of the reservations come good.

Another move aimed at the masses comes from Hindi cinema. The concept of marketing movies has been taken to a new level with the upcoming Krazzy 4 featuring three item numbers, two from males. The buzz generated by these songs has been immense and it is certain that the movie will effortlessly complete the business it expects to do, if not do more.

No honking please.

Inflation, the UPA and 76 runs

Facing heavy pressure from the Left and the BJP, the UPA government has finally taken steps to reduce a high-speed increase in prices of food products. Inflation touched 6.68% last week, but there is clearly a global food crisis. Bumper stocks have fallen and the UN has warned the world that 36 nations face an impending food shortage. Rice and wheat are the worst hit, with prices at an all-time high.

The UPA is facing a critical phase in national politics, which will test its decision-making abilities and crisis management skills. Problems with the BJP regarding the Kandahar issue are surfacing and their Hisaab Maango campaign to get Uttar Pradesh chief minister Mayawati talking about corrupt activities in the state will add more pressure, if nothing else. This certainly won't help the Congress in their election bid for the upcoming Assembly polls, although evidently they are targetting exactly that.

On par with such problems was a dreadful display by India on Day 1 of the second Test match against South Africa at Motera, Ahmedabad. Being bowled out for a measly 76 runs (the team’s second lowest score ever while playing in India) left me and one billion others shell-shocked as the batsmen collapsed dramatically, and in a way that wipes out all recent successes from memory.

You can’t say that the match is over, at least out of hope in this very formidable, experienced batting line-up which is more than capable of posting huge totals. But the fall down definitely gives the visitors the advantage and it’s up to them to make the most of what happened today. Harbhajan Singh called it the worst day of his career. For me, it was the third worst Indian showing after the 2007 World Cup debacle and the 54/all out against Sri Lanka in Sharjah 8 years ago.

Scary stuff. But it ain’t over till it’s over.

Breaking News

A day in the life of the aam aadmi would never be complete without a sinister appearance from the new age pavitra Bharatiya nari Rakhee Sawant, an update on the phenomenal transfer of Lord Shiva’s powers to WWE wrestler The Great Khali, a more recent unearthing of a female version of the Khali whose balloon-blowing act on her rooftop inspired me to monkey-jump on my seat with childlike joy and not to forget, brought a halt to life in the world’s second most populous country.

If there is nothing to enlighten us with, then create something and let know. That is to say, serve something overcooked and utterly bitterly flavorless that finds its way into the everyday diet of the common man. This seems to be the modus operandi of the mainstream media in this path-breaking era of television journalism where there is hardly any difference between news and nonsense. The difference has been minimized to a negligible measure called “choice”. We can only choose to see it or not to see it. But this is what you’ll get best.



You can actually laugh off the news stories and loosen up and be ignorant of them, but their spine-chilling manipulation of Hindi to generate propaganda is something you should think about in earnest. The national language has been reduced to a literary exhibition of bedroom antics between couples untamed in sexual intercourse. The oooohhhs and the aaahhhs, I mean. And I’d rather take these over the media ones. Pleasure for real, you know.

If the Best Hindi News Channel and the Best Entertainment Channel awards handed out by the Indian Television Academy for the last few years have been won by Aaj Tak and Star Plus respectively, then it definitely proves that there is only one major criterion considered – TRP. These awards are scandalous then, in a way of saying. They provide disputable widespread acclaim and a source of motivation that isn’t doing anything right. Credibility is the need of the hour.

Till then, make the right choices.

Indian English

In an age where English has assumed astronomical importance in terms of getting a career and a life, we still find our own ways of getting the message across even if our vocabulary is limited or our ignorance needs to be pacified. And that involves manipulating the world’s business language in ways that suit us best.

In fact, if the verbal Indian curry hadn’t been garnished with desi English toppings, then it would hardly have turned out to be as delicious as it is today, no? Our fundas are clear. Our mugging works better than ever in schools and colleges. We are as enthu as ever. More despo than frantic desperation. So congo for that, friends.

The West may feel that our English has gone for a toss. But I love this language of ours more than priceless Shakespearean writing. Our English is basically very very sexy. So what if their head starts paining or their brains go haywire? Arey people don’t mind the eve-teasing please. What we actually mean is ki we love being unique and different and irritatingly not bothered.

Don’t take tension yaar. This was just timepass.

Source: Random research from Wikipedia