Spiga

Kambakht Ishq - Not for kids, adults or aliens


Kambakht Ishq.

Just like all previous purposeful mistakes I've made in my life, I added one more to the list when I landed in a cinema hall (albeit on a social outing with family) to watch Kambakht Ishq. And this is what happened.

Dog.

B***h.

B*****d.

Not everyday do you get to know what it feels like to be punched by Evander Holyfield and Mike Tyson in a one-on-two match. Even worse, I'm way too weak and vulnerable already.

So how is Kambakht Ishq, you may ask. How does it feel like to see a dog have his bowels emptied, the excreta picked up and packaged into a double-cheese burger and given to you as your 'junk meal'?

Yes. That bad. And add the dog's 'soft-drink' to complete the package.

The ringa-ringa-roses begin in a church, where even God was pitiably forced to witness the testament of a failed wedding, Kareena Kapoor's in-your-face non-acting and stuntman Akshay Kumar's attempts to save the men of the world from evil women. I pity you, God. I do.

Before the 'I do' is completed and poor old Aftab Shivdasani (who apparently still exists to give goofy smiles and fill the 'chaprasi-disguised-as-supporting-actor' roles) is completely deprived of any sex life with beau Amrita Arora, you have a failed wedding with cakes being hurled in all directions for no purpose whatsoever when they should have seriously considered donating them to thousands of engineering students who could use it as cannon fodder.

As life goes on (and so does the dog-b***h claptrap), Kareena amazingly drops her ringtone-watch while doing her first surgery EVER into Akshay's stomach. The visuals pop up in an x-ray and Kareena decides that she must fake love to retrieve the watch while Akshay apparently ends up falling in love, sacrificing all the principles on which his life was based in the movie.

In between, you have Hollywood icons Sylvester Stallone and Denise Richards do cameos. Javed Jaffery and Kirron Kher waste their talents in poorly-scripted roles. Shivdasani and Arora are just plain fillers, while Akshay's wacky sidekick is a hyper-lame imitation of many other previously successful Bollywood sidekicks.

Add to this, Kapoor's questionable and self-righteous attitude towards people who watch movies clearly speaks volumes about the escalated power that Bollywood brokers in the country today. A day doesn't seem to be far off where the 'stars' hardly bother about pleasing fans, but impose themselves in a rather Orwellian way of doing things.

Make movies. Make better movies. Let the people decide.

And as far as this one goes - avoidable. Completely.





If you liked this post, you might want to subscribe to the RSS FEEDS

16 comments:

  Smita

Monday, July 13, 2009 at 6:36:00 AM PDT

hehehe...

I am going no where near this movie!!!

Nah!!!

  Smitha

Tuesday, July 14, 2009 at 3:46:00 AM PDT

Oh, It does sound like no go zone! Can't start to think why people make such movies!

  Anonymous

Thursday, July 23, 2009 at 7:19:00 PM PDT

dont judge b4 you watch it. it caters more to younger viewers. definetly not something to watch with the family. overall a pretty good movie. think more along the lines of hollywood movies like american pie etc. its funny, if got an open mind.

  Trailblazer

Thursday, July 23, 2009 at 9:03:00 PM PDT


@Smita, Smitha
Avoid. :-)

@Anonymous
Err, I have judged it ONLY because I've watched it. I've clearly mentioned that in the second paragraph of my review.

How does it take an open mind to judge that uncalled-for abuse and absolute nonsense is meant 'for younger viewers'?

On the contrary, if I didn't have an open mind, I believe I wouldn't have written this review.

  rahul

Thursday, July 30, 2009 at 3:28:00 AM PDT

lolz..I committed the same blunder :((..nice review!!

  Onion Insights

Sunday, August 2, 2009 at 11:52:00 PM PDT

Hi Jay,

Nice review. I think the anonymous person is probably one of the producers of the movie.

We at Onion Insights (onioninsights.blogspot.com) are always happy to come across bloggers like you. We are also glad to inform you that your writing skills can now be put to good use and you can make some extra money too. Sign up as a freelance Mystery Shopper - go to www.sassieshop.com/2eyp and select New Shopper Signup with Onion Insights - A Boutique Mystery Customer Experience Management firm and get paid for telling us your shopping or dining experience. You read correctly - you get paid for shopping!
For more details log on to www.onioninsights.blogspot.com, read our blog and give us a call on +919769781001 or shoot us an email at support@onioninsights.com. An OI Team Member will get in touch with you as soon as possible! There are many Mystery Shopping assignments and five star reviews available in your city. Hoping to hear from you soon.

Warm Regards,
OI Team.

  Business economy world

Wednesday, February 1, 2012 at 4:07:00 AM PST

nice post review

  Online hotel booking jaipur

Wednesday, February 1, 2012 at 4:07:00 AM PST

Excellent blog

  internet marketing belgium

Wednesday, February 1, 2012 at 4:08:00 AM PST

Awesome post

  PWT Sports Racing News

Wednesday, February 1, 2012 at 4:08:00 AM PST

That's great

  PWT Harbal Products

Wednesday, February 1, 2012 at 4:09:00 AM PST

nice written

  PWT Health Tips

Wednesday, February 1, 2012 at 4:09:00 AM PST

Great review

  hyd

Monday, April 2, 2012 at 5:57:00 AM PDT

Brilliant stuff!
hyderabadonnet.com

  Lavanya Sethi

Friday, January 18, 2013 at 2:57:00 AM PST

Fantastic work you have got accomplished, this website is actually cool with great data. Time is God’s method of preserving every thing from happening at once….