Hi, ladies and gentlemen.
This is Shrillpa Slutty, your extraordinarily beautiful host of My Pigg's Boss season 2. And today, we bring you reactions from all participants so elatedly responsible for taking millions of viewers on a prearranged amusement ride with zero comic relief, gut-wrenching emotional manipulations and high-octane albeit self-triggered drama.
First, the winner....
I yam deelighted to ween the corntest. I face taff competisan from many odours, but I come out strawng. Aafter weening Roadies, I waas alreddy the Roadside Romeo of all kyuut girls and I dezerve to ween Ms. Slutty's Pigg's Boss.
Now, the runner-up....
I need to go home urgently and beat up my wife please as she is the one who is entirely reponsible for my loss.
I tried impressing the viewers with my yummy kulfi-like looks and haseen zulf-ein. But they saw beyond it and I still can't understand how I lost.
I added the oomph to the show. I made the men go mad behind me. I brought the country to a halt. I loved swimming in the pool again and again. I loved being massaged. I was better than Rakhi Sawant was last year.
[screaming directly at Asambhaavna]
You b*%^&. What do you mean? I was the X-factor of this show. If it's anyone, it's me who deserves to win simply on the criteria of the number of clothes covering my body. I can count them using half the fingers of one hand. Can you? Huh!
[trying to calm Ghaayal down with his now-patented hand massage]
Relax, baby. Chill. It's what I do best. Chill. Of course, drugs would help me chill better. Nevertheless, chill.
You all will be sued. Just wait. Let my boyfriend come and save me, like Superman. Then we'll make sure that all of you will suffer.
Ms. Slutty interrupts - Superman?
Moanica responds - Yes. He is from The Underweared. He has a lot of powers. He will unleash his wrath on you all soon.
No comments. I was hardly there.
Thank you for watching the show and making it a huge success, folks. And finally I sign off with a shake-a-leg dance with the chief guest aka my-ex flame-and-claim-to-fame, Kingg Kumar.
See you next year, prime time TV.
Commercial Break: Mahafun Massages offers FREE massages on a first-come-first-serve basis to all women and an exclusive 0.05% discount to all men.
And now for the news that matter.....
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